How to begin to forgive

" Do what makes you happy " card with blur and bokeh effectThe ability to move towards forgiveness comes from a willingness to understand the fundamentals of how people approach life.

First we must understand that what other people do is by their choice and interpretation of the world and that they are living their lives according to that interpretation (known more commonly as their set of values, beliefs, rules and standards).

While we can understand the interpretation principles we may never fully understand what drives or motivates individuals to act the way they do and we cannot measure what they do against our own set of standards, values and beliefs.

Generally speaking when you need to forgive another person it is important to understand that they will often fall into two significant belief categories:

1. Those that believe they are entitled (to do, be and have whatever they want).

Those that fall into this category can often be defined as arrogant they believe they are above the law or that the ‘normal’ rules of society do not apply to them.  Their focus is on self-gratification and lack of consideration for anyone that may be affected by their decisions and actions.

and

2. Those that believe “It’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission”

Those that fall into this category can often be defined as ignorant they are oblivious to the consequences of how their actions will affect another person. Their focus is on doing what they want for their own needs without consideration of others. They will often feel as though they are ‘better than’ in some respect to others whether it be in their thinking, life circumstances or choices.  They will often have a fleeting thought of the effects but not care higher for others than they care for themselves first.

In both categories it is an individual that is making that choice and they are generally making that choice based on their interpretation of life according to their standards.

When you make the choice to move towards forgiveness you are actually making the choice to better understand people and selecting a better path for life.

You are bringing yourself to a place of understanding rather than resentment, anger or thoughts of revenge this does not mean that you are condoning their behaviour it simply means you are taking yourself to a better place in life. Greater understanding of others equals a more harmonious approach to life, which ultimately leads to you being happy.

Keep smiling!

Sue 🙂


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