I really loved that necklace… Whenever I plucked it out from my little collection, I would smile knowingly as I felt the deep meaning of peace it held. Once I reached around to the back of my neck to connect the chain, close the latch, and admire it in the mirror, I would just continue on my merry way, head high, content in the knowledge that I looked my coolest self, and completely forgot it encircled me. It was… well sort of… a part of me.
On that morning I was strolling along a city street and something told me all was not well… You guessed it… The necklace was missing. Oh my God what happened? It is a small thing right? But I wonder if that has happened to you? A seemingly small thing to lose, and yet the feeling of loss in that moment, the shock of it, was as large as something terrible… How crazy is that!
As it happens, all things can break, but not always lost… Although rushing people, storming traffic, and the usual city music and noise easily muffled any sound; most especially a tiny one; I sensed it there! How on earth I don’t know! I looked down, and there it was, not lost, but the clasp that held it fast together had broken… Just as fast!
After recovering from that oh so little big shock, I said to myself… I will fix that as soon as I can.
Time passed… Sometimes, often as I rushed to get out the door, I would pick it up out of the draw, where it sat quietly waiting, and then I would curse myself for not getting it fixed. And at other times, I saw it there lurking in its little silky bag, just asking to be fixed and yet being ignored. How can I love something, and want it to be fixed, and yet do nothing!
Last week I put it in my handbag, and although it remained there for three whole days, I finally called in to a jeweler – the one I pass each day on my regular walk – he said, “No problem, give me five minutes… That will be eighty cents” OMG!
I walked out with two distinct feelings: Firstly, exhilarated that I could once again wear my lovely little adornment. And secondly, mildly disgusted that it had taken two years – yes, two years – to get it fixed! Oh the energy I wasted being annoyed with myself during that time… I’m so funny!
Because I live a lot in my head – thinking about weird stuff – I also pondered the greater lesson here: I wondered what I have been hanging onto from my past, things that I intended to fix, and yet passed over and anguished about. I wondered how useless that was, and somehow – just with a click of my fingers – I let go of a few more old things that no longer define me. You know, the things we go on and on about to ourselves – and perhaps at times, to others, when we get in that mood – Or maybe that’s just me!
Eventually we realise we live now! And when we truly live now we have no room for clinging to aspects of memories, no use in living them again, time to break free and renew…. And as that small thought connects to the chain of our psyche that encircles us, our self instantly repairs itself, and we smile widely once again… Until the next opportunity to acknowledge that everything has the potential to break, big and small links break free and renew… In time and purpose… I find Forgiveness like that!
Yours in peace
written by emotional resilience expert Noelene Dawes www.emotionalresilience.com.au.